Today, when I got to the train station, my father told me a funny thing. He said “my mother and my sisters are missing for couple hours, and my sisters didn’t go to school. Therefore, my sister’s teacher called my father to ask what happened to my sister, why she didn’t go to school. Then, my father began nervous and asked my kin to help to found them. Finally, my father found out my mother took my sisters to see the doctor, but they didn’t make a phone call to the teacher, so they made a funny thing.”
After I heard the story, I laugh loudly. I never heard such a funny thing just because they went to see the doctor and didn’t make a phone call. That made all of a kin very nervous to find them. When my sister heard that, she just felt embarrassed about that, and she felt they just like criminals to chase by our kin. That is really funny.
5 則留言:
How about using "a funny story instead of "a funny thing"? It sounds a lot better to me.
You have a serious problem with verb tense that needs a great deal of attention. The story has to be told in the past tense, not the present tense. Maybe you should rewrite it using the proper verb tense and email it to me.
Also, it's "my mother and sister", not "sisters".
"acouple of hours" is the idiom.
"began to get nervous".
"my kin" is a bit old-fashioned. These days we say "family" or "relatives".
"so they made a funny thing" sounds too much like a literal translation of Chinese. It's isn't natural English. I'd probably say something like "they got into trouble".
The paragraphs are clear enough and easy enough to understand, but having to deal with the usage errors and tense problems makes it less pleasant to read. And that's what it's all about.
*Comma Splice*
my mother and my sisters are missing for couple hours, and my sisters didn’t go to school.
Therefore, my sister’s teacher called my father to ask what happened to my sister, why she didn’t go to school.
Finally, my father found out my mother took my sisters to see the doctor, but they didn’t make a phone call to the teacher, so they made a funny thing.”
I never heard such a funny thing just because they went to see the doctor and didn’t make a phone call.
When my sister heard that, she just felt embarrassed about that, and she felt they just like criminals to chase by our kin. That is really funny.
you wrote the funny story in specific details.
your mother might be too nerverse to took your sister to see a doctor so she didn't had a call to your sister's teacher.
You can talk about how your father "found out" your mom and sister.
{He said "my mother and my sister ..."} if you want to use " " it should be {" your mother and sister} or just say {He said that my mother and sister...}
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